DSDGlobal X MDT5: Top 5 Pop Culture Incidents of the Decade

Hey. I'm gonna get right to it and tell you all about what I think were the biggest pop culture incidents of the decade. Plenty of bums, breakdowns, public battles, and [boobs!] to come. So enjoyjoy, DSDarlings.

1. Nipplegate

Oh... right, NSFW. Oops?

But honestly, folks. Anyone that saw this will remember it forever. I'll go as far as to say that they'll remember exactly what went through their mind exactly when they saw it. [Boobs!] And also, "Why is her nipple so shiny?" And don't forget, "Wait... what?"

To a 13 year old watching the Super Bowl, this was approximately 232.87% more of a big deal than seeing a Girls Gone Wild commercial when you were up past your bedtime watching South Park.

To a 13 year old watching the Super Bowl with their family, this was approximately 848.23% more awkward and cringe inducing.

In the end, I wasn't really too mad. I'd be dumb to complain about the situation. [Boobs!] Unfortunately, because there are people that will get mad at everything, the next day all the news stations were making it seem as if they had cancelled the game and staged a massive Jackson 5/N*Sync orgy. This would be okay with me if these groups showed some consistency, but I've heard Becky, The Whisper Song, and Poke Her Face several times on the radio and seen Nicki Minaj's Jurassic Park lookin ass Vagina through her pants more than enough times to show me that any complaints about this incident were just for the sake of having something to complain about. If I had children, I'd personally rather they see a partially clothed titty for a fraction of a second than sing along in the car, "Put some mayonnaise on your child."

2. The Chris Brown/Rihanna Incident

When I first heard that this happened, I was sure it was a rumor. Growing up with West African women and fighting my sisters as a child and early teenager, I was simply baffled on how Rihanna could possibly have gotten got by a hoe ass punk like Chris Breezy. Let it be known that I am not jumping on any sort of bandwagon. I'm still a Dr. Dre fan. And please believe that if Pharrell Williams beat on someone, I'd still be his number one fan. [It's a problem. I've already addressed this.] That being said, I've always hated this dude. Everything but Run It and Poppin. And even those got Played Out After a while.

Like [Lil']Bow Wow, when the novelty of being young wore off, Chris Brown fell off the map. I mean, that might be an unfair example as Bow Wow plummeted to his death Mortal Kombat style. But honestly, dude is like a jank Usher.

Speaking of Mortal Kombat, did you see ole girl's face? He even bit her! And to make things worse, dude's trying to act hard after the whole incident, but at the same time going around and crying about the situation. It's going to be hard for him to redeem himself in 09', but if it comes out that he was the one that leaked those Rihanna nudies[Boobs!], he's already taken a step toward the light in my book.

3. Anything Kanye West has Ever Done In Public Other than Concerts

Don't get me wrong. I love the man to death, but he acts like your bad little cousin whose mom gave up on spanking him. First there was the original Kanyegate. This dude called out the president of the United Muhfucking States of America.

From there, he learned that he could get away with doing outrageous things like this for publicity and then proceeded to brutally rape and alabama hot pocket the concept of shock value throughout the decade. Anytime he didn't win an award, the man absolutely loses his shit. [If he isn't acting in that last video, may God bless his DSDear soul.] He also smacked the mess out of a paparazzi.

Finally, he decided to go out with a bang, Kanyegate 2. Absolutely shitting all over Taylor Swift's life at the VMA's. [I apologize,  but footage is nowhere to be found on Youtube.] Personally, I don't think this was that big of a deal for several reasons- it was Kanye... we should be used to it by now, the VMA's aren't really a legitimate awards show, Taylor Swift is not an important human being, and finally, because she reacted like a punk. Any reasonable person would have taken their mic back and been like, "Anyways...."

I still love you, Yeezy. Do what it does.

4. The Michael Jackson Trial

I don't think he did it. I think Michael was a strange ass man, don't get me wrong. But having a bad childhood can make you think certain things are acceptable that seem strange in the public eye.

If I [hypothetically speaking, of course] raped some kids, I damn sure wouldn't say they slept in the same bed as me on live television. I mean, that entire interview where Martin Bashir lived in his house for weeks while pretending to be his friend then went to ABC and told everyone the man was a psycho was out of line. The world did MJ real sheisty and he probably died an unhappy man because of this situation.

Some people think Mike is the greatest because of his music. I used to. After the trial I knew he was the greatest because rather than getting rotten eggs thrown at him, a man that was accused of being a pedophile had effing doves released as he left the courtroom.

What did R. Kelly get?

Answer: [This] and [This]

5. Britney's Degeneration into a Batshit Insane Double Baby Mama


I can't really write much about this because I was way more of a Christina fan from the jump and I'm biased to this day. [I may be 100% Nigerian by blood, but I think my soul is 15% Latino]

Instead, I'll let the pictures do the talking.

[Awww, she's so cute]

[Yeah, I'd hit.]

[Please sir, may I have another?]

[Boobs!]

[Urp?]

[The fuck?]

[Boobs :-( ]


Almost Made the Cut


Trust, this list was not exhaustive. Some close calls were the Kellz Trial, Tiger Woods's snitching ass harem, the Britney and Madonna VMA kiss,  Vanessa Hudgens nudies[Boobs!], Cassie vagoo nudies[Excellent], Tribe Called Quest incident[The Lupe Fiasco... get it?], Xtina's "Bad" phase and last but not least...

Was Weezy F'in Baby.... literally?

MDT5 x DSD Present: Top 5 Mixtapes of 2009

• "So Far Gone - Drake" While this list isn't in any particular order - none of mine ever are - it's arguable that So Far Gone was the best mixtape of the year. It dropped February 13th, and it became the archetype for what a well-crafted mixtape can mean to an artist: a career-maker. Two videos, two Grammy nominations, and the all-important BET Hustler of the Year nod later (seriously), Drake had taken over the rap game. All you "I was on Drake since Room For Improvement" lames, I hear you. Those tapes didn't get your boy a $2 million deal and two Top 10 singles in the same week. So Far Gone did. This raised the production bar for mixtapes. Not a DJ drop the whole way, complex samples, and respectable wordplay. Tough to argue against that, as much as I want to. *Here's your benchmark test. Put a camera in yourgooniest goon friend's car, and just wait till "Brand New" comes on. See if he doesn't sing every word despite there not being a bed or a girl within 50 feet without saying "no homo". That's how good the tape is.

Notable Tracks: "Best I Ever Had", "November 18th", "Say What's Real"

• "Back To The Feature - Wale" Another album-quality mixtape. Don Cannon and DJ Drama's screams were nowhere to be found on Back To The Feature. What we did get was the best tape of the summer, full of incredible features and more stellar lyricism from Wale. Only 3 producers - most prominent being 9th Wonder - worked on the tape, giving it a flow and continuity that most albums don't enjoy. In other words, this shit bumps. Every time I listen to it - every Wednesday at 2 pm to be exact - I catch a punchline or metaphor I'd missed. My favorite still remains, "...and my brain travels like Yung Berg jewels." When a rapper has to help you get the meaning of a line after his 16 is over, dude is doing something serious. For simple, straight-up collaborative hip-hop, this is where you come. Wale calls the underlying theme of the tape, "niggas be rappin'". Couldn't put it any better.

Notable Tracks: "Tito Santana", "Rather Be (Vagina Is For Lovers)", "Um Ricka"

• "The Warm Up - J. Cole" If you knew who J. Cole was after The Come Up, good for you. Your trophy is in the mail. For pretty much everyfuckingbody else, The Warm Up was J. Cole's introduction to the world. And it was a hell of an introduction. Dude is quickly getting the "murder you on your own track" reputation, and if you listen to this tape you'll understand the hype. Not only does he have the punchline braggadocio that mixtape audiences demand, J. Cole really shines through with his range and versatility. He raps about things real people can relate to; college, not knowing what to do after college, stalking women, things like this. You become invested in his lyrics. He produces his songs as well, which is pretty much like a demolition crew building their own buildings, and so we get to listen to an artist's entire vision - from snare to simile - which is incredible. Drake's debut album may be 2010's most anticipated, but I'll be first in line to support J. Cole.

Notable Tracks: "Lights Please", "Losing My Balance", "I Get Up"

• "No Ceilings - Lil' Wayne" You know you have a monster of a mixtape when you make people forget about the original songs. I can't even listen to "Swag Surf" and "Ice Cream Paint Job" anymore. They're Wayne's songs now. With the official drop coming on Halloween 2009, Weezy F. dispelled any doubts about him losing it/selling out/going "rock". I remember Kamau sitting on Demas' couch when I brought the leaked version over a couple nights before Halloween, going on about how Wayne had fallen off so hard and hadn't made real shit since the Drought 3. That stopped after we'd gotten through No Ceilings, and the tape was on repeat all night. Wayne, if you can make a believer out of Kamau again, nothing can stop you. No Ceilings is 21-track wake-up call to the rest of us. Wayne may mess around with Scarface-guitar samples, but he's still a beast. I'm not exactly a Wayne fan, but this tape was probably the most played thing in my car this fall. Favorite line: "I make the pussy Microsoft like Windows Vista." Never felt prouder to be a PC owner in my life.

Notable Tracks: "Swag Surfin", "No Ceilings", "Oh Let's Do It"

• "He's The King, I'm The DJ - DJ Jazzy Jeff" Shouts to Lo for putting me on, knowing the unnaturally huge Mike fan I am. It's obviously not rap, but who says mixtapes have to be. Jeff mixes, scratches, and blends his way through a 49-track masterpiece. Making a great MJ tribute tape sounds easy; the man has an unparalleled discography to choose from. But, just imagine how hard that would be. Imagine if I gave you the keys to Fort Knox and asked you to find me the 49 best bricks of gold in the whole place. You'd probably break down Donald Duck-style. Well Jazzy Jeff took on that task, and succeeded. When you play this tape, you forget your iPod even has a skip button. He seamlessly combines old Mike with new Mike, black Mike with white Mike. I could go on for pages, so I'll stop, but if you don't download any other tape on this list please download this one. I don't care if you don't support Mike, you aren't putting any money in his sequined pockets here. This is just as much about Jazzy Jeff as it is Mike. Just give it a listen and appreciate the magic that happens when two geniuses collaborate.

Notable Tracks: "Every", "Single", "One"


Honorable Mentions: "Gone Fishing" - The Cool Kids, "Church League Champions" - Pac Div, "Flight School" - Wiz Khalifa, "Midwestgangstaboxframecadillacmusic" - Freddie Gibbs, "Enemy of the State" - Lupe Fiasco, "

-Dallas

DSD Presents: Miss Lauren [Again]

Lauren is now officially my favorite model/person ever, I just thought I'd let you all know.

[You can be my favorite person, too. {You've got a loooong ways to catch up, though} Just holla at ya boy at cjosn14@gmail.com or on Facebook. I can make you beautiful.]



Anyways, I was trying to be extra subtle with this one. More of a glamour pic than a photomanipulation. The only really obvious thing I did was fade the saturation radially from the top right corner out and then paint a little extra saturation in/out w/ a layer mask. I like this one.

Thanks again, miss.

DSD x MDT5 Present: Top 5 Women of 2009

For the entire week, you can catch DSD and My Daily Top 5's 'Best of 2009' series. Dallas will be handling the '09, I got the decade, both of us will be bringing you quality material. Check back here or at My Daily Top 5 every night for a new list.

• "Rihanna" Boy oh boy, is that worth 1000 words. Barbados' finest export had a pretty roller coaster year: from 2 Grammy nominations and the critically acclaimed Rated R, to getting Chris Brown'd by Chris Brown and missing her performance at said Grammys. I still give her the 'W' for the year, though. She could get the 'D' too.

• "Freida Pinto" Slumdog Millionaire dropped stateside in January, and we (and by "we" I mean me) got our first taste of Ms. Pinto. I went back to my AMC theater for seconds and thirds too, I'm not ashamed to say it. Freida made it possible for me to endure the predictable love story that was Slumdog, as well as the "why does that clown get to make out with Latika" frustration that nearly cost me my sanity. That population explosion in India is paying serious dividends.

• "Megan Fox" While overrated in my eyes, and yes they do work, Megan Fox has pretty much Debo-ed her way onto this list. She was everywhere in 2009. Ok, she really only was in Transformers 2 and in magazines, but it seemed like she was everywhere. To straight guys. I'm not going to kid myself here and act like I wouldn't do terrible things to her, but she's not the second coming. *Resist...play...on...words...* Still, Ms. Fox is a force to be reckoned with. And she doesn't have a problem taking clothes off or kissing girls either. That helps.

• "Alicia Keys" If you turned on a TV or a radio the last half of 2009, odds are you heard Alicia singing the hook from "Empire State of Mind". Aside from that song having taken over the fall and winter's Billboard charts, and the World Series, Keys is flat out fine. The source of my second "why does that clown get to chop her down" crisis, Alicia Keys is one of the most incredible blends of beauty, talent, and class we have. Another #1 album in December, Billboard's #5 artist of the decade, and a philanthropist, Alicia is the type of girl on this list that you marry......Sike!! If I had a shot, I'd marry any and all of the above. But, you get what I mean.

• "...Twerk Team"
  
  
  
  How can you argue with me after seeing that video? According to YouTube, Twerk Team burst on the viral video scene in June. The world of ass-clapping would never be the same. Do me a favor. Think of that one song you always bug the DJ at the party to play after your second glass of punch. Twerk Team has a video for that. While some of the Team aren't really pretty - a couple are actually legit busted - they all get As for effort. Can we get these girls a Gatorade sponsorship? I heard that the company is a client short nowadays.

-Dallas

DSDGlobal x MDT5: Lists

5 Worst Fashion Trends of the Decade

So in honor of the new year, DSDglobal and MDT5 are doing some collabo work. I read somewhere that a good way to get people to read your blog was to make lists and at the end of the year, people usually put together big lists of things. So I figured, "It's the end of a decade, why the hell not?"

1. Kanye Shades

To start off, I'm sure these... things have an official name, but Kanye is the person with whom we all associate them with. Following that train of thought, they were only cool when Kanye Wore them. Kanye [and other celebrities] do a lot of stuff you cant do. Like this and this. With all the emotions brewing from the Glow In The Dark Tour, some[read "way too many"] people failed to realize that they were not, in fact, celebrities. And then decided that they'd look cool wearing Kanye Shades with disastrous results.

Glasses with no lenses that partially obstruct your vision are part of a costume, not part of an outfit.

2. The Keffiyeh

I'm not even gonna front. I love these shits. I used to rock them all the time in highschool. They're not bad in the sense that they're ugly [if not a bit played out], but bad in the sense that they're distasteful.

"Traditionally worn by Palestinian peasants, the keffiyeh became a symbol of Palestinian nationalism during the Arab Revolt of the 1930s.^[2][3] Its prominence increased in the 1960s with the beginning of the Palestinian resistance movement and its adoption by Palestinian politician Yasser Arafat.^[2]"

(Wikipedia)

Why would you go and commercialize something with such a cultural meaning to a group of people? I'm not sure people would like it much if, for example, American flags became trendy somewhere and big name models were wearing them around their heads.

In my opinion, if there's a meaning behind something. Find out before you do/wear/say it. It's an easy way to stay out of trouble.

3. Skinny Jeans on Men

Guys can not do this. It's not allowed. Coming from me, this is a big deal. I love the color pink, I shop at H&M based on what I already don't have rather than what I want to get, and I have more shoes than your average girl. But I would never ever ever even think about wearing these.

This trend is rather new and I think it'll end rather quickly. All it'll take is one unfortunate incident. Some of us call guys w/ sagging purple skintight jeans hipsters and there are others who address them as "You know the drill, bitch. Spread em."

3. Tall Tees

I think these are okay... if you want to be a victim of racial profiling and police violence[even if you're white!]. Call me bougie, but aside from ashy lips, I consider when at least 3/4 of the males in view wearing XXXXXXL Tees to be the biggest indicator of hood-ness.

Look at the pictures above. The first person is smiling, but they still don't look like someone you can trust. Now look down at the next few people. Same story. Now imagine all of these people in large polos from Express.

Yeah. It's kinda like that.

4. BAPE

I'm not even gonna no homo this: I am a Pharrell Williams dickrider. I need help. But for the time being, I'm content with myself.

Now that that's out of the way, BAPE is whack. I mean, looking back, it was cool when I was in highschool. But after senior year, cool changes to corny real fast. It's not okay to look like a skittle anymore.

5. Ed Hardy/Coogi

Again, this is one of those things that were okay when they were cool, but should be allowed to finish their life cycle and die. I noticed the Coogi brand is kind of evolving away from the "I am doing entirely too much" school of fashion design, but they can not be forgiven for past transgressions.

Matching T-shirts, shoes, belts, sunglasses, hats, jeans, and jewelry doesn't make for a fly outfit. It's tacky. Please stop.

*Bonus - Best Recent Fashion Trend

6. Wearing Leggings as Pants

Yeah, buddy.

Spring was always my favorite season. But only late spring. Now that college has started, spring means booty.[Usually]

I see a lot of leggings as pants haters. I'm convinced these people are all one of or a combination of these things: A.) Female B.) A Hater

Keep on keeping on, ladies.

Song of the DSDay: "I Love Her" by Gemstones

So when I heard Jay-Z's The Black Album in its entirety for the first time about a month ago, I listened to "Allure" produced in part by Lord ForReal [Peace and flyness be unto him] and it sounded ridiculously familiar even though I'd probably only heard it once or twice before.



So the point of that was that when I was driving home from the Chi-Chi today, I was looking through my ipod and I saw The Testimony of Gemstones for the first time in a looong minute. [Tragedy what happened to him. Look him up on Wikipedia.] The mixtape was raw as hell and I kind of miss the guy and hope he comes to his senses. So yeah, I was flipping through songs and I came across the beat from Allure and I was like "OH! THAT'S WHERE I HEARD THIS!"

Random, but you'll thank me later for putting you on.

"I Love Her" - Gemstones

DSDon't Get Too Excited: Back.... for about 20 seconds

Hey, all.

As you can see, I've been pretty busy and/or lacking inspiration for a few weeks now and I'd rather post nothing than some uninspired, boring -ish.

In any case, there's this thing going on at deviantART where you ca get your own artwork as a print for like 80% off. I'm trying to CAPITALIZE on that, so here is one of the posters I made for the bare, lonely walls of my dorm room.



Get it? Snort snort, chuckle chuckle.